On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
