You're earring is so big in my mouth
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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