Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
