Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
