Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
the day after is always just damage control
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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