do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?