Texts From Last Night

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  (831): View more from California

  'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason

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  (831): 'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason http://tfl.nu/vr72
  Replies (15) Good night (2228) Bad night (547)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".

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  (305): I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang". http://tfl.nu/9dw0
  Replies (68) Good night (25971) Bad night (1458)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.

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  (404): There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man. http://tfl.nu/gtt8
  Replies (20) Good night (4369) Bad night (1201)
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  (619): View more from California

  Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.

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  (619): Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes. http://tfl.nu/4wgk
  Replies (45) Good night (28909) Bad night (2285)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.

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  (781): So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets. http://tfl.nu/zt9l
  Replies (12) Good night (597) Bad night (4880)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.

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  (402): I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members. http://tfl.nu/ande
  Replies (19) Good night (1887) Bad night (3703)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl

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  (978): remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl http://tfl.nu/z6sm
  Replies (5) Good night (2618) Bad night (1025)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.

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  (570): hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help. http://tfl.nu/nfdk
  Replies (11) Good night (2730) Bad night (1075)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.

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  (423): This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are. http://tfl.nu/kzc0
  Replies (8) Good night (2546) Bad night (925)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?

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  (417): How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave? http://tfl.nu/9xty
  Replies (17) Good night (1784) Bad night (2440)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.

  (1-701): View more from North Dakota

  Jesus, are you hammered?

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.

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  (701): Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus. (1-701): Jesus, are you hammered? (701): Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws. http://tfl.nu/johl
  Replies (26) Good night (4055) Bad night (921)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.

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  (719): I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer. http://tfl.nu/9z00
  Replies (4) Good night (1292) Bad night (475)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.

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  (616): Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death. http://tfl.nu/ogc4
  Replies (9) Good night (2022) Bad night (488)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."

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  (267): haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it." http://tfl.nu/wf20
  Replies (0) Good night (764) Bad night (328)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times

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  (603): So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times http://tfl.nu/2gsi
  Replies (1) Good night (549) Bad night (153)

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