My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
of course. lets lasso hookers.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.