Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
