I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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