This girl is more easily done than said...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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