Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
