Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
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