No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
