Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i love accidental penises.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
