He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
