Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Girls should come with a carfax report
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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