90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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