P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
