you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
