I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
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when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
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MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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