I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
