When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
