You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
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