He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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