I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
