I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
