Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
