I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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