She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
