Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
