eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My cat gives me a boner
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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