I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
then he tried to convert me to islam
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
