She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
