He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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