brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
