I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear