i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize