and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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