is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
