hotel room ftw
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
