If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
