Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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