direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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