Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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