OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I can't turn off my feet"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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