Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How external is "for external use only"?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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