Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
