but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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