Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
