i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
