shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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