New invention idea: vibrating tampons
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Randomize
