Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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