all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
two words...techno handjob
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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