lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
