I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize