question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
