Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
