So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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