i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
NoShamevember. You game?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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