so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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